Needing To Be Rescued

So I always hesitate for a minute when I know I am about to be vulnerable in fear of sounding stupid. I know there is no fear in God or in His love for me and the reason I usually do this is because I know there are others out there that feel the same at times. I figure if I write about it and uncover it God will cover it like he always seems to do. Ill start with an expression I heard the other night that describes how I have felt for the last couple of weeks. "This well is dry".
I thought to myself while taking communion at church this morning, one day this will all be over and I will live with Him forever with no struggles or frustration. But while I am here on earth I certainly want to develop in me a passion like no other for Him and everything that I am blessed to have in my life. I want to live so passionately for Him. Its hard becoming a Christian as an adult for me because I feel like I have to develop all of the things I didn't have as a child like discipline. It takes discipline to read his word every day and have quiet time and sit silent listening for His voice to guide you. I find when I try to do these things myself I get so frustrated to the point of screaming. "Why cant I make this a habit" "What is wrong with me" As I have grown in my faith I have realized that we need so much more than just saying I am a Christian. About 6 years ago when I wasn't even walking with the Lord but I had accepted Him into my heart, he spoke to me loud and clear and told me to move out to Oklahoma City. I didn't know why but I just did it. It was the best move I ever made. There He showed me how important it is to have solid accountability with those more spiritually mature than you, he showed me so many families that lived for Him in every thought, action, decision. I will have to say it has been very different here, I haven't had that accountability or the examples but as I sit here in this short season because I know I am going to come out of it, I realize He gave me that long season to show me what He wanted for my life and how He wants me to live. I know that He is just developing my character and revealing to me that I will always go through these dry spells but it's how I handle it that will get easier. I am looking so forward to Beth Moore this weekend. What a sweet time it is going to be with the Lord, my mom, and my closest friends who are growing in Christ with me. That in it's self pumps me up. Now that I have talked this out, I am going to go get in His word.
Lord Jesus, rescue me! Lift me up in your arms and make me whole. I know that I can not battle the things of this world without you but I am screaming for your help. Carry me, show me, strengthen me, make me into what you want. Let my thoughts not be selfish but be focused on what YOU want for my life. Lord, light my fire and give me a passion that is almost unbearable. Mold my heart with your perfect hands so that it will be like yours. Reveal your face to me, I want to relate to you in a way I never have before. I love you Lord. In Jesus name. amen.